uhmm.

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 15:32:19 GMT

things have been really, really not good lately. despite what i act like.
i think sarah hoover and i are in need of a lunch date. (woo makin' out!)
also i have to get ready for work now :/

i don't know if i've ever felt this weird in my life.

the smell of wine, and cheap perfume!

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 18:17:41 GMT

i can't stop listening to journey.

"she's just a smalltime girl living in a lonely world,
she took a midnight train going anywhere.
he's just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit,
he took the midnight train going anywhere."

i'm totally going to be arrested for rocking out too hard in a no-rock zone.

i still have a day or two in front of me until i'll be heading home into your arms again.

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 03:59:57 GMT

i am unhappy.
very much so, right now.
i don't know who to talk to or what to do.

work's going to be long and depressing in the morning. :[

it's colder than it oughta be in march
and i still have a day or two in front of me
until i'll be heading home into your arms again.
and the people here are asking after you.
it doesn't make it easier,
it doesn't make it easier to be away.
i'd like to hire a plane,
i'll see you in the morning
when the day is fresh, i'm coming home again.
i'm coming home again,
i'm coming home again.
when the day is fresh, i'm coming home again.

i'm.... not......... drunk?

Tue, 29 May 2007 05:13:25 GMT

*two more episodes of weeds (and 87% dl'ed!)
*all day with the most wonderful boy in the entire world
*evening with the most wonderful girl in the entire world
*aladdin (a whole new worlddd!)
*seeing the hub soon

small list, big things. camping this weekend with the crew. i cannnnnnnnnottttttttttt wait. it'll be a goodbye to joshie, but a fun goodbye.
and now, icecream.
work in the morning :]
i honestly couldn't be happier, unless tiff was next to me and i was squeezing john some more. but i'm pretty freaking happy nonetheless.

little boxes on the hillside! little boxes made of tickytacky!

Wed, 16 May 2007 06:30:48 GMT

hi

that was nothing

john loves me :]
he thinks i sound funny but i think i sound pretty freaking amazing right now!
he is staring and sighing.
i really do think he loves me.

i hope so because he means pretty much everyhting.
so
today is the day before our day off form finals before we have finals
and we celebrated the day off!
celebrated almost looks like cleavage if you tiype it incorrectly
but hoenstly
i love him.
i love my roommate and hope her bf is happy
i love tiffany a whole, whole lot.
katie ate a hot ;picket with me!
and alex is home safe.
tonight was succcesfful and i am super happy.

tomorrow : stuyding a lot
tonight : cuddling with the most amazing man int ehw owrld :]

zNO SPELL CHECK NO BACKSPACE FUCK THAT GODDAMN SHITTT

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 05:08:45 GMT

john hager just kissedme.

today is the bestday ever.
i'm not gonna fix any more of my typso.
for serious!
for serious.
beanie says i canfinsih taking typing this before i drink it.
beanie knows what's best.
i actcidentally fixed somet ypos.
hahahahaha.
HAH!
i'm gonna go.
john hager is ognna kiss me again.
it makes me smile so so so much.
bee argeh bee!

honestly...

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 19:18:08 GMT

who even knows anymore?

i'm so different sometimes. i'm starting to see how bad that can be.

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 20:19:46 GMT

i think i'm terrified.
i know i'm miserable.
i don't know what to do.

and now, it's time to make a choice

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 16:29:34 GMT

and all i wanna hear is your voice....

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 04:23:23 GMT

today was a fucking rollar coaster of emotions,
but in this moment, i'm ok.

i promise i still exist!

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 20:16:51 GMT

i honestly don't know what to say anymore. i have a myspace: http://www.myspace.com/thehottestlemon

i'll be happy to add you guys and communicate through there, but i don't have the time to check this as much as i want.
i only write private entries anymore
and i don't even save them because i can't stand reading them the next day.
marta knows. she doesn't read this, but she nose. and honestly? i'm not so sure anyone else does.

the point is, *ahhfuckingcrazyahhhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhh*

and now i'm going to make a cake. redvelvet&frenchvanillaicing. mm i'm a fake chef.

i wanna try this.

Sat, 10 Jun 2006 06:55:05 GMT

comment and tell me a secret anonymously.

it can be anything - about life, love, a certain situation.

it can be what you love about me, or what you hate.

i simply want honesty.

everyone - do this. strangers stumbling upon my site, do this. friends i've known forever, and enemies too - do this. i want to know.

so

Tue, 23 May 2006 02:21:43 GMT

does everyone know that song, "hate me"? i think everyone knows it.

i just wanted to say.. when that song applys to you, it hurts more than anything else in the world. when you listen to the lyrics, and you realize that this is your life, that hurts an extreme amount. thought i would clarify. justin understands, but justin won't read this.

i feel killer nauseous. i want to die a little bit. i suppose it's time for more sleep, although i've already gotten a sick amount today. i'm full of woozy and headachy and stomachachy and ouch.

beanie + man + jess + jess's man (wee!) = more content susan, and also a colder susan, but i love them anyway.

ifuckingmissyou

if i were a candy...

Tue, 16 May 2006 04:47:06 GMT

i would be rainbow nerds. because, well.. duhh.

i'm in a i'm-not-sleeping-tonight mood. i tried. didn't work. oh well.

not just deleted...

Fri, 05 May 2006 22:36:48 GMT

but gone forever.

i'll be ok.

Thu, 04 May 2006 20:42:58 GMT

DELETED.

i just realized that my zipper was down the whole time i was out this afternoon. can you say.. awk ward!

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 05:34:49 GMT

have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

i swear i'm not bitter! and, ilutlh <3

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 22:43:11 GMT

plans, for sure: going to umbc for the academic year. i already filled out the papers, even dorm rooms (with man!!!! OMG) and meal plan stuff. awesome.
scholarships: $10k a year.

i had a bunch at other schools. it's funny that 10k at umbc is more than enough for me to go, but 20k at goucher isn't even close.

the point is.. umbc's social studies program > gouchers. so awesome. i can't wait to be a member of the sondheim program. i can't wait! i'm so excited.

summary of life:
DE > all.
pictures? amazing. ask me for some. not naked ones, though. they are simply awesome.
myrtle beach? not so much. ugh. i love patrick and kelly forever.
easter = beautiful. yay for Jesus! i'm a huge fan.
antonio is beautiful.
i simply cannot wait to get a LU hoodie, or give my lover a uhm-buh-cuh hoodie. we will rock the socks off of everyone. we're painfully close. and i love every second of it.
and, i am never fucking going to manassas again.

the end!

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 08:00:54 GMT

...*smile lots and lots*

that's all i've got. later.

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 04:09:50 GMT

if i told you, you wouldn't believe.

there are certain things in this world that are inherently beautiful, and no matter what happens, their beauty is immeasurable and, in one's eyes, perfect.

the taste of a single snowflake on your tongue, the sun setting after a long summers day or, the sun rising after partying all night, your best friends' smile, rainbows after rain brightening the sky, stars that are so bright and so clear that you are awestruck and breathless, the view from the satellite at 2 am, tears on a lovers face, those moments in life of simple pure contentness, holding a beautiful boy's hand.

some of these things are lost. but if you wait, they'll always come back. in different forms, sometimes. well, it's never really the same. different situations, different environments, and sometimes, different people.

but they're still beautiful, and nothing, nothing can take that away.

my life is brilliant,
my love is pure.
i saw an angel..
of that, i'm sure...

you're beautiful, you're beautiful,
you're beautiful, it's true.
i saw your face in a crowded place
and i don't know what to do
'cuz i'll never be with you.
you're beautiful, you're beautiful,
you're beautiful, it's true.
there must be an angel with a smile on her face
when she thought up that i should be with you
but, it's time to face the truth..
i will never be with you.

i'm so glad this entire song isn't true. you are beautiful.

w00t!!

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 13:45:52 GMT

i'm going to fucking college!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

umbc (and man!), here i come!

i'm fucking going CRAZY.

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 00:57:05 GMT

mile marker two-oh-three,
the gas gauge leanin' on the edge of E.
and i'd be dying if rain ain't pourin' down.
there's something smokin' underneath the hood,
ti's a-bangin' and a-clangin' and it can't be good.
and it's another fifty miles to the nearest town..

everything i own's in the back in a heafty bag.
i'm out of cigarettes, and i'm down to my last drag..

i'd sure hate to break down here,
nothin' up ahead or in the rearview mirror.
out in the middle of nowhere, knowing
i'm in trouble if these wheels stop rollin'.
so, God, help me, keep me movin' somehow.
don't let me start wishin' i was with him now.

i made it this far without cryin' a single tear.
and i'd sure hate to break down here.

under 50 thousand miles ago,
before the bad blood and busted radio,
you said i was all you'd ever need.
but love is blind, and little did i know
that you were just another dead-end road,
paved with pretty lies and broken dreams.
baby, leavin' you is easier than being gone.
i don't know what i'll do if one more thing goes wrong...

i'd sure hate to break down here.
nothin' up ahead or in the rearview mirror..
out in the middle of nowhere, knowing
i'm in trouble of these wheels stop rollin'.
so, God help me, keep me movin' somehow,
don't let me start wishin' i was with him now..

i made it this far without cryin' a single tear.
i'd sure hate to break down here.

i'd sure hate to break down here.
nothin' up ahead or in the rearview mirror..
out in the middle of nowhere, knowing
i'm in trouble of these wheels stop rollin'.
so, God help me, keep me movin' somehow,
don't let me start wishin' i was with him now..

i made it this far without cryin' a single tear.
i'd sure hate to break down,
it's too late to turn around,
i'd sure hate to break down here.

mile marker two-fifteen...

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 04:14:12 GMT

today, hanging out, was necessary for my self esteem. i love you guys a lot. like, A LOT. we have so much fun.

thanks for saving me. and i like being in the loop. i can't wait to room with man, makeout with jess's cheesey heart, and hold beanie's hand while she gets a mousie! and the point is, i'm never gonna call trace, but i love tiffany forever for doing it. only we can go *pose* and have hours of fun, and harass people at redblue&hot with straws, and giggle like five year olds over "sex." and i'm ok with that.

kthxbyetheeend

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 04:29:31 GMT

....here in town, you can tell he's been down for a while,
but, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles.
wanna hold him... maybe, i'll just sing about it.

'cuz you can't jump the track,
we're like cars on a cable.
and life's like an hourglass
glued to the table.
no one can find the rewind button, boys,
so cradle your head in your hands,

and breathe,
just breathe.
oh, breathe,
just breathe.

hey girl you make my whistle blow, hey girl let me see you get low.

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 03:11:46 GMT

i like boys sometimes.

or, a boy.

mean ones can go away. but this one isn't mean. and i shlike him. and, go away. =P